8 Internet Goals for 2009

It's all very well to be optimistic when you are down, and although you're seeing stars from the ditch, that doesn't cut it for me anymore. It has got to improve. I don't want to smell funny and disoriented from too much muddling through anymore. And a goal-oriented blogging is the way to go. So here are my goals for next year:

1. Clarity. I resolve to use simple, everyday words in my blog if I really want to gain readers. So that the riffraff in my neighborhood will finally take a liking to me and thus bulk up my readership. Without their sweaty embrace and at the very least their grudging respect I'd be doomed at the bottom of the food chain.

2. Use of Exotic Terms. I will do away with high highfalutin words so I can sneak in every now and then some jargon of my choice. Like SEO. Leveraging. Meta this, meta that. Every one should understand that it's just very much like a dance of joy when posts about couple of obscure financial jargon will have successfully driven an insane volume of traffic to this blog. Consider this a commercial break from regular program. Don't despair because I will make it up to you in our karaoke night outs.

3. Utility. I'd serve you a movable feast of riches via guides to your personal growth. Simply because I'm a buddy after your own heart. I care for you deeply. Not only will I teach you how to make your armpits smell like a baby, I'd occasionally point you where the wonderful freebies are. Free downloads and stuff. Because I care from the smallest of your whims to your total education.

4. Upfront and Personal. I'd try to a put a little something of myself into my writing. So you and the world can find some uniqueness from the drivel that I dispense against the output of the rest of the blogosphere. Or I can draw inspiration from your exciting life and the wench you call your significant other. And when she finally leaves you for your own father, hello, maybe there's poetic justice in seeing her nailed just right on the internet, okay?

5. Sky-high Statistics - unique visitors, page views, subscribers, adsense growth. Last week, I was ecstatic I had one subscriber. Of course that was shortlived because I found out I had subscribed to my own feed through my mobile phone. What a hoot. Although I honestly think I have good taste so a vote of confidence - even from myself - ah, that's big deal. Hahaha. Faith cannot move mountains at my behest, but I sure can haul my ass up there.

6. Zen. I'd be detached from materialistic considerations. My equilibrium rests not on the fickle tastes of readers and the inscrutable Mr. Google. But of course,just to be sure, I'd be keeping a tight watch over these concerns. Especially my small patch of adsense. I will be serenely watching my grass grow. And finally -

7. I'd intone every morning as I watch the sunrise, "Universe, I am ready. Give it to me, give it to me."

8. Chuck nos. 1 to 7. Okay, I need to go for clarity, utility, and Zen qualities. But not in the aforementioned context. I'd just be myself, engage you in meaningful conversations, I hope. And gently connect to the universe, and not holler into it.

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Notes From Under the Rock

Image via Wikipedia
You are here under the rock with me. Isn't this grand, you and I face to face at last? But what am I doing - make yourself comfortable. Let me just dump these pile of clothes elsewhere. There...

So what's your choice of poison? Oops, I forgot, no hard drinks around these parts. Will beer do? I am big on coffee - will you have some?

I have a feeling about you. You were here before, right? You took a peek inside, then you moved on. No hard feelings. I do that myself on occasions. I'm not mister personality myself. Hehehe.

Do you know that I joined Facebook last night? That's a big step for me because I'm not the outgoing type you know? I have reservations because of privacy issues. Does putting my name and face out there cause me to regret it in the future? I don't know. The good thing is I have not done any horrible thing in the past that will show up in Google. Not yet anyway - who knows what terrible atrocity or level of stupidity I may yet unleash, right? Hahahaha.

Any scary scenarios that may befall me by putting myself out there is just that. Mere suppositions. I'm not a celebrity - so who will hound me? I don't own a yacht, nor do I have secret bank account in Switzerland. Who am I kidding? There's no greater waste of time and effort than trying to separate me from my riches. I have none. Of course there are voices in my head, if you're interested, but that's another story altogether.

The alternative, however, to self-imposed seclusion is just as dreadful. That's much like getting lost or sidetracked on your journey to self-improvement. Living in anonymity, without a firmer sense of community, that's a much greater loss, right? Because this very minute, I know friendships are being made, alliances are being forged among individuals in the creative arts and other circles that aspire to be the best in their field. I just can't ignore and be left out in this vibrant give-and-take. Can you?

Besides, I can tweak this interconnectedness to suit my taste. I can always unplug when the noise becomes too much to bear, if it comes to that.

You're going already? Okay, then. Thanks for coming and having this conversation with me.

Oh, I'll walk with you outside. Yes, outside. Isn't that funny - from under the rock into the sunshine? Well, as Woody Allen says, "Eighty percent of success is showing up." That I will do. On the basic premise that this will help me evolve as a better individual.

My friend, drop by again sometime....

I recommend Chris Brogan's insightful post, Template for Building a Small Powerful Social Network

In Bed with a Good Book

Image via WikipediaEnglish novelist Anthony Trollope of the Victorian era said it best:

The habit of reading is the only one I know in which there is no alloy. It lasts when all other pleasures fade. It will be there to support you when all other resources are gone... It will make your hours pleasant to you as long as you live

Part of my bonus from my day job goes to buying books. Ah, I love the smell of new books. I can even spread the love to secondhand books, and although I draw the line at sniffing used books, I can always hug them and take them to bed.

It has been a while since I had a good read. A couple of Tom Clancy's here and there borrowed from my best friend. I think the last book I bought was One Hundred Years of Solitude.

I am lusting after books because this is all I can reasonably buy this Christmas without upending the delicate balance of my financial world. Hahaha.

I am lusting after books because I got sidetracked by the internet, pulled here and there by glitzy videos, bite-sized wisdom served like aperitif for kids with short attention span disorder.

Back to the basics again for me this coming vacation. Here's looking forward to a carnal, salacious, mind-boggling trysts with authors I hope to get hooked up with again.

Because of possible ethical issues with regard to donating books to this blog author, I urge you to restrain your generosity. It's all right. All is well with us even without gifts. The small print though states that I can be persuaded to accept your gesture of goodwill. Hahaha.

Care to share what book you will pick from the shelf to read this yuletide season?

Here's an interesting article for your reading pleasure, The Future of Literacy: Online, R U Really Reading?.

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